Up here, in the lighthouse close to were I grow up, everything is the same. Up here, nothing has changed except for myself. And yet I feel connected to all my previous versions. They are all present. It feels great to be here, to feel the same oceanbreeze, to hear the same waves colliding in the rocks. Sometimes I think that some places are necessary for me to understand my life. Some keyplaces in one's life is what holds it all together. They feel so real that in solidarity to them reality seems to have less holes. I can see me in real life and I can distinguish myself from the outer chaos that hits me now and then. Up here, I do not only feel alive, I am alive. Just as life is a part of me. Just as the lighthouse is a part of who I am. A part of the person I was. And of who I migh become. I know nothing about the future, but I know I will return to this place. As I look out over the ocean, I feel less alone. I feel less lost. I feel the feeling that overcomes the feeling of loneliness. I do not feel complete. I am not necessarily very happy. But I feel at home. And home is what makes me not lose myself in the wind that grabs me. For I am at home. And the view from here is fantastic.